Posers: You Aren’t Fooling Us!

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So, what is it with stupid people? I recently got a new car… one that I haven’t told you about, yet. So I will take this opportunity to tell you about it. Remember the 2008 Ford Bullitt Mustang I test drove for the site? Well, I bought it.

I bought the exact one that I test drove. Number 5434 of 7700. They made 5600 for 2008 and 2100 for 2009. And that will be it.

I am in the process of making a video review of my ownership of the Bullitt.

Her name is Jacqi, by the way.

But back to my original topic. Every time I drive I see these hideous attempts at Mustang genius. I want to ask these guys, “Do you really think someone is going to mistake your V6 for a Cobra?” I mean, really, people. Let’s get with the real program here. There is a V6 Mustang for sale down the road from my parents house, and I pass it every time I come up that way. It’s done up to be a very cheap, and ugly rendition of the 2000 Cobra R. You know how they say that imitation is the greatest form of flattery? Well, not in this case, however. The Cobra R was a car that could achieve 4.4 seconds to 60 with 385 horsies powering through. It’s a great Mustang, and a Mustang not like any other. I feel bad for the true lovers of Mustangs, like myself, and numerous other people that I know, that we have to deal with the embarrassing realization of these morons.

This is no phenomenon limited to Mustangs, Camaros, or other redneck cars. It’s a popular club for BMW, Mercedes-Benz, and God only knows how many others there are.

I just love, from the first time I started loving BMW’s up until now, seeing these guys, and girls, not just guys are limited to stupidity in this case, who slap on ///M badges to their 325, 5ers, and so many others. I’m already tired of seeing M3 and M5 wheels on 3-Series BMW’s, but that’s just the start. Have you seen these guys who try and disguise their 325 with no badges and then just one ///M badge on the rear trunk? Yeah, it’s stupid, I know. But, apparently, some people think it’s cool. Not anyone I know, that’s for sure. I understand if you swapped an ///M engine into your car, then you can throw the badge on there. That’s respecting the mark. But what’s even worse is they drive around like they are the coolest people on earth. News flash, chief, no one thinks your hot stuff with your backwards cap, baggie jeans, and your timberlands to match. Trust me, your Run DMC Adidas aren’t any better, either. That image has come and gone, my friends. I don’t care if you think you’re cool. Take the badges off. Be a real man and be proud of what you have to offer people.

I was driving the other day, and I saw an 03-05 SL500 Mercedes-Benz driving past me. Nice cars. Very beautiful. My mom has had a few. They just aren’t any fun for me to drive. I feel less like myself when I can’t seem to get comfortable in the oversized seat, and especially when I can’t find the clutch pedal. That’s beside the point, though. This guy was driving with SL55 AMG badges on the car. WHOA, WHAT?! Yes, the car had stock SL500 exhaust, stock SL500 wheels, stock SL500 rear taillights (remember, the middle turning lights that are red on the 500 are black on the 55/65), and, a stock SL500 front-end. Who is this guy fooling? Well, unfortunately tons of people, probably. Especially young girls who think he’s a big man with a $125,000+ car. Well, sorry, people, but that is roughly breaking $100K. Not that that’s not expensive, it sure as hell is. But, because this guy, either chose not to, or could not afford the real deal, he wants to pretend his MB’s penis is the size of an SL55 AMG.

This is why I think more people need to learn more about cars, especially girls. It seems to me that a decent bit of girls that I know could tell the difference. I think everyone should be like my best-friend Bridget. She can tell you the differences between one car and another. She respects cars, and she loves them. I’m tired of the guys that think they are ladies men because they get laid by girls who love the look and/or sound of their car. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s your car that’s the ladies’ man, not you. You were just egotistical enough to rev your engine, or tell someone that it was your car…

This is all just like the ricers who buy a Honda Civic to turn it from a gas saver, to a hopped up, worthless, street racing piece of crap. That will probably end up being impounded anyway on the stupidity of street racing… Enough is enough already.

Anyway, that’s my rant for right now. I may add more to this later as I think of it. But, for now, please respect the roads and the cars that you drive. If you drive a 325i, be damn proud that you have a German piece of perection. It may not be the fastest in a straight line, but you get great gas mileage, and you can cruise the back roads at higher speeds and in more style.

Love your car. Afterall, it somehow loves you…

-Josh

“Happy Motoring!”